Oh dear, a new post. I know, they've been so sparse....... Whatev.
My spurred thought for this evening: Sometimes I don't understand how some people can be so easily dissuaded by personal life, issues, problems, and pasts.
It makes my heart hurt sometimes that a person would be so terrified to reveal deep, dark secrets to people because they are immediately afraid of judgment. Who are we, if not hypocrites, to condemn them?
It equally breaks my heart to have someone reveal one of those things, and for them to be so touched by the positive reaction of the listener. I know... it's been me, before. And it hurt in my soul that my natural reaction of love towards a hurting person was the most unexpected reaction imagined.
We all hurt. We're all broken. Some of us, as the song says, broken till we shatter. We're as a whole, a scattered mess of pieces lying on the floor, interacting within the "shame" of our brokenness... our human-ness... and expecting other people to descend upon us in judgment for the poor shape our vessel contains...
Our vessels are destroyed. But love brings out the beauty in the pattern of these broken crystals, these broken souls.
It's love... it's all we need. Not just the love of an individual partner... but the love of our fellows.
I challenge you, today. Love someone who is unlovable. And I'll do the same thing. Maybe, just maybe, we can make a difference in this world.
And if nothing else, in one person's life.... you can make a world of difference....
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Fate and Coincidence, Doors and Windows
So you've all heard the old saying, "When God closes a door, He opens a window."
First of all, as a random thought, who ever wants to go out a window? Are we escaping a fire? Isn't there usually a fall outside a window? Why doesn't He open another door, as a more normal method of advancing from where we are?
Okay, just wanted to get that off my chest.
I don't believe in coincidences. I think things happen for a reason and a purpose, even sometimes in the most miniscule ways. But I also don't believe that things are locked, in that Fate sort of way. I believe that there are ways that mankind can contradict something of design. We do, after all, have the ability to make decisions for ourselves.
But when it comes to the point about doors, I'm just not sure what to do with it. I'm reminded of a joke where a man sits atop his roof as the floodwaters have submerged his house. A rescue boat drifts by and offers to help. He refuses, saying God will save him. Next is a helicopter. Same response. Then the waters rise and he drowns. At the gates of Heaven, he asks God, "Why didn't you save me?" To which God replies, "I sent you help, but you never took it!"
So I believe that God opens doors, He sets about plans, He has an intention for my life. But since I am a creature of free will and choice, I have to step through those doors. So... what happens if my doubt anchors me so that I never choose to step through any door? I am stuck, unsure of what the "right" and "wrong" paths for my life are. I overanalyze my entire being. And when that's all finished, I realize that I'm still in the same place as I was before, because I never chose to actually go anywhere.
And now I have taken a step towards a door - a right or wrong door, it doesn't matter - but at least I have taken the step. I think it's more disappointing to not choose at all, than to "choose wrong." But this doesn't exactly give me courage toward the decisions that I've made. I still sit back in my nerves and anxiety and wonder if I'm doing the right thing.
Making decisions is hard. Sometimes life can be so difficult, you know?
First of all, as a random thought, who ever wants to go out a window? Are we escaping a fire? Isn't there usually a fall outside a window? Why doesn't He open another door, as a more normal method of advancing from where we are?
Okay, just wanted to get that off my chest.
I don't believe in coincidences. I think things happen for a reason and a purpose, even sometimes in the most miniscule ways. But I also don't believe that things are locked, in that Fate sort of way. I believe that there are ways that mankind can contradict something of design. We do, after all, have the ability to make decisions for ourselves.
But when it comes to the point about doors, I'm just not sure what to do with it. I'm reminded of a joke where a man sits atop his roof as the floodwaters have submerged his house. A rescue boat drifts by and offers to help. He refuses, saying God will save him. Next is a helicopter. Same response. Then the waters rise and he drowns. At the gates of Heaven, he asks God, "Why didn't you save me?" To which God replies, "I sent you help, but you never took it!"
So I believe that God opens doors, He sets about plans, He has an intention for my life. But since I am a creature of free will and choice, I have to step through those doors. So... what happens if my doubt anchors me so that I never choose to step through any door? I am stuck, unsure of what the "right" and "wrong" paths for my life are. I overanalyze my entire being. And when that's all finished, I realize that I'm still in the same place as I was before, because I never chose to actually go anywhere.
And now I have taken a step towards a door - a right or wrong door, it doesn't matter - but at least I have taken the step. I think it's more disappointing to not choose at all, than to "choose wrong." But this doesn't exactly give me courage toward the decisions that I've made. I still sit back in my nerves and anxiety and wonder if I'm doing the right thing.
Making decisions is hard. Sometimes life can be so difficult, you know?
Friday, March 13, 2009
Undivided Devotion
I Corinthians 7:25-35 TNIV
"Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such commitment? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.
"What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who are married should live as if they were not; those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.
"I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs - how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world - how he can please his wife - and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world - how she can please her husband.
"I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in UNDIVIDED DEVOTION TO THE LORD."
So what is Paul saying here? You can't ever disregard the cultural context of a particular verse - in fact, it is your responsibility to first consider it before attempting to apply it today. Obviously, 2000 years later, we realize that the time was not as short as Paul seems to say, but that may not be the point. In the grand scheme of ETERNITY, sure, our time on this earth is very short. But perhaps that spans much longer than any lifetime.
Perhaps we are thinking of this verse along the lines of the saying (albeit cheesy sometimes) "I want to be so in love with God that a guy/girl has to find HIM to find me" or whatever other variation on that theme you can come up with. Our responsibility is to be wholly devoted to God, and for our attraction to be more based on similar devotion with another believer. Maybe?
So when does the devotion to the Lord become "too much"? I have heard it said that if your job begins to infringe on your relationship with your family, then you should cool it on the job and reestablish your family time. But what if your job IS ministry? Your job is, in essence, devotion to the Lord? Or do we presume that one's devotion to the Lord has shifted to devotion to a ministry/job, and that there must be a redefining of motive and intention?
It seems a paradox, somewhat. God created marriage, and certainly we see that the first instance of it was in a direct relationship with God at the same time. But here, it seems that Paul may not believe in the ability of a married couple to remain wholly devoted to God.
I certainly understand the idea: One's devotion to God is truly challenged when there are worldly, and marital, issues at hand. The work and difficulty that is inherent in marriage are sure to draw attention aside. But I ask this: Aren't there just as many other things that do exactly that as well? Why do we pay particular attention to marriage as having the potential to distract from a relationship with God?
Relationship with video games? With money? With social situations? With the self?
There are plenty of other obstacles here. And they are things that you daily attempt to tackle by yourself. Could not a spouse, with equal understanding of a whole devotion to God, be the best thing for a person?
Perhaps that's what might be understood when Paul says, "Those who are married should live as if they were not." Two individuals, both with a strong relationship with God, living together and attacking the challenges of life together. Both understand that the first-and-foremost thing in their lives is their devotion to God - perhaps so much so that they become more concerned with those things than even their own relationship. But could that really work? Surely there are times in which one might say, "I need a little of your time now, please."
It seems difficult to me... On one hand, we were not created to be alone. We are discontent, alone. We need another half. But on the other hand, the very thing we, as human beings, need is the very thing that is suggested to distract us from God the most. Hmm...
So do I search out a spouse? Perhaps not actively. As Jesus Himself says, "I must be about my Father's business." But surely He felt this strain as well. He did, after all, experience and deal with all the things we deal with. So what were His thoughts? Do man and woman disregard each other for sake of their ministry to the rest of the world? Do man and woman attempt to unite for the sake of their ministry?
Maybe there is a person who has the exact same calling, to the exact same ministry as you. Perhaps you are passionate about the same exact thing, and therefore your relationship/marriage allows you to remain wholly devoted to God, even within your seperate lives.
Perhaps two people realize the identical nature of their calling, and just say, "Hey, I do this; You do this; Do you want to do this together, for the rest of our lives?" But does a relationship based heavily on a identical call to ministry stand? Shouldn't it? Wouldn't God bless that relationship?
Who knows? Do you?
"Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such commitment? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.
"What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who are married should live as if they were not; those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.
"I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs - how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world - how he can please his wife - and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world - how she can please her husband.
"I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in UNDIVIDED DEVOTION TO THE LORD."
So what is Paul saying here? You can't ever disregard the cultural context of a particular verse - in fact, it is your responsibility to first consider it before attempting to apply it today. Obviously, 2000 years later, we realize that the time was not as short as Paul seems to say, but that may not be the point. In the grand scheme of ETERNITY, sure, our time on this earth is very short. But perhaps that spans much longer than any lifetime.
Perhaps we are thinking of this verse along the lines of the saying (albeit cheesy sometimes) "I want to be so in love with God that a guy/girl has to find HIM to find me" or whatever other variation on that theme you can come up with. Our responsibility is to be wholly devoted to God, and for our attraction to be more based on similar devotion with another believer. Maybe?
So when does the devotion to the Lord become "too much"? I have heard it said that if your job begins to infringe on your relationship with your family, then you should cool it on the job and reestablish your family time. But what if your job IS ministry? Your job is, in essence, devotion to the Lord? Or do we presume that one's devotion to the Lord has shifted to devotion to a ministry/job, and that there must be a redefining of motive and intention?
It seems a paradox, somewhat. God created marriage, and certainly we see that the first instance of it was in a direct relationship with God at the same time. But here, it seems that Paul may not believe in the ability of a married couple to remain wholly devoted to God.
I certainly understand the idea: One's devotion to God is truly challenged when there are worldly, and marital, issues at hand. The work and difficulty that is inherent in marriage are sure to draw attention aside. But I ask this: Aren't there just as many other things that do exactly that as well? Why do we pay particular attention to marriage as having the potential to distract from a relationship with God?
Relationship with video games? With money? With social situations? With the self?
There are plenty of other obstacles here. And they are things that you daily attempt to tackle by yourself. Could not a spouse, with equal understanding of a whole devotion to God, be the best thing for a person?
Perhaps that's what might be understood when Paul says, "Those who are married should live as if they were not." Two individuals, both with a strong relationship with God, living together and attacking the challenges of life together. Both understand that the first-and-foremost thing in their lives is their devotion to God - perhaps so much so that they become more concerned with those things than even their own relationship. But could that really work? Surely there are times in which one might say, "I need a little of your time now, please."
It seems difficult to me... On one hand, we were not created to be alone. We are discontent, alone. We need another half. But on the other hand, the very thing we, as human beings, need is the very thing that is suggested to distract us from God the most. Hmm...
So do I search out a spouse? Perhaps not actively. As Jesus Himself says, "I must be about my Father's business." But surely He felt this strain as well. He did, after all, experience and deal with all the things we deal with. So what were His thoughts? Do man and woman disregard each other for sake of their ministry to the rest of the world? Do man and woman attempt to unite for the sake of their ministry?
Maybe there is a person who has the exact same calling, to the exact same ministry as you. Perhaps you are passionate about the same exact thing, and therefore your relationship/marriage allows you to remain wholly devoted to God, even within your seperate lives.
Perhaps two people realize the identical nature of their calling, and just say, "Hey, I do this; You do this; Do you want to do this together, for the rest of our lives?" But does a relationship based heavily on a identical call to ministry stand? Shouldn't it? Wouldn't God bless that relationship?
Who knows? Do you?
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Futility
In our lives there are times when we just feel like there's nothing we can do, no successes to be had, noplace better to go. It's true for all of us, I'm absolutely certain. It feels like all your work is for naught, all your faith is in vain, and all your hopes are worth dust. And in those times, there come mixed emotions, especially in someone who "knows all the right answers."
"Rejoice in the hard times"
"Even so, it is well with my soul"
And so on...
But to be honest with ourselves, don't we all sit back at the same time and think, "What's the deal? Are You up there?" I mean, even if there was an explanation that 'it was someone else's turn for the attention' then I'd be alright. But I know that His attention is always on me. And I know, I know, He has my best in mind... but knowing and feeling are two different things.
How do I feel?
Like I'm stuck. Like I'm not able to feel at peace or in pain. That I don't understand. That I am fighting off doubt. That I'm warding off anger.
And the answers don't help me, yet. I know I have to wait. I know I have to pray. I know I have to have faith. But sometimes that's not good enough... When you have lost you faith, how does "you gotta have faith" help? That's my point.
I'm not mad at God. Because, I mean, He could destroy me. With a flicker of half a thought. And again, I know that "He'sa cookin' something up."
But alas, the faithless, impatient, mortal that I am... I want to KNOW.
And knowing the future is impossible.
Someday, I'll look back and laugh. Look back and smile at the way I acted when God had everything under control. Someday, this will be a fond memory of what I've grown out of. Someday, things will make a little bit more sense.
Today, it feels like futility.
"Rejoice in the hard times"
"Even so, it is well with my soul"
And so on...
But to be honest with ourselves, don't we all sit back at the same time and think, "What's the deal? Are You up there?" I mean, even if there was an explanation that 'it was someone else's turn for the attention' then I'd be alright. But I know that His attention is always on me. And I know, I know, He has my best in mind... but knowing and feeling are two different things.
How do I feel?
Like I'm stuck. Like I'm not able to feel at peace or in pain. That I don't understand. That I am fighting off doubt. That I'm warding off anger.
And the answers don't help me, yet. I know I have to wait. I know I have to pray. I know I have to have faith. But sometimes that's not good enough... When you have lost you faith, how does "you gotta have faith" help? That's my point.
I'm not mad at God. Because, I mean, He could destroy me. With a flicker of half a thought. And again, I know that "He'sa cookin' something up."
But alas, the faithless, impatient, mortal that I am... I want to KNOW.
And knowing the future is impossible.
Someday, I'll look back and laugh. Look back and smile at the way I acted when God had everything under control. Someday, this will be a fond memory of what I've grown out of. Someday, things will make a little bit more sense.
Today, it feels like futility.
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